


Don't Let Go

by curl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 05:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curl/pseuds/curl
Summary: Lance gets taken by the Galra and is believed dead by Team Voltron. Keith has to deal with the loss and his unadressed feelings for Lance.





	

**Author's Note:**

> do you know tfw you're not satisfied with your work not matter what you do?  
> i figured i should just post it because staring at it for hours wondering what's wrong won't fix it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> so any kind of feedback will be appreciated!  
> (also this has gotten about three times as long as i initially thought lol)
> 
> talk to me on tumblr @cargo-pilot-jane

A small population of a once great alien culture somehow managed to survive on the remains of their shattered planet and sent out a distress call in hopes that someone in the universe would save them from their demise.  
Not far away, their call reached the castleship and Allura, Coran and the paladins set out to help them.

The paladins navigated over the large chunks of rock with help of their jetpacks, and guided and carried the rather short, red-and-yellow aliens to safety inside the castle.

If Lance was disappointed that there were no pretty ladies for him to hit on, he didn't let it on. Instead he posed as some kind of noble superhero in front of the aliens and even earned a few cheers with his act.

Keith smiled to himself. Yes, Lance's behavior seemed childish at first, like he didn't take the matter seriously, but it turned out to be just what the little creatures needed.  
Lance held one of them in each arm and one particularly scared individual clung to his leg, and it was nice to see how calm and understanding Lance was at convincing it to let go and join the others in the castle.  
He gave Keith a smug grin when he noticed him struggle with an alien that refused to let go of a dried up root.  
Keith expected him to make a comment considering this was something he was considerably better at, but instead he stepped to Keith's side, reaching out his hand and smiling sweetly at the alien.  
"Come on, your friends are waiting for you. I promise I won't let go until you're safe. Sorry if my buddy here was rude to you."  
Keith rolled his eyes, although he had to admit he might have been a tad too impatient.  
After some more reassuring words the alien agreed to go with Lance, who winked at Keith before turning around, probably to bragg without having the alien notice and risking to make it uncomfortable again.

He had gotten used to Lance, though, and now there was a certain familiarity to their interactions that Keith even liked, in a way. Not that he liked arguing with Lance, but he did consider him an irreplaceable part of his new make-shift family. 

 

It was an easy feat for the most part, though, and the aliens thanked them repeatedly as they helped more and more of them to the castle. Inside, Allura welcomed them all and introduced Team Voltron to them while she helped taking care of the scared and injured.

Suddenly, Coran's voice sounded over intercom, "Enemy detected! Hurry up and let's get moving!"  
The paladins grabbed the remaining few aliens and rushed to the castle, when a wormhole opened up in front of them and spat out a giant Galra ship.  
"Alright, time to get out of here!", Shiro said and waited in front of the entrance for the other paladins, intending to go in last.

They had formed a chain to pass the aliens on to get them to the castle faster, when a hatch on the Galra ship opened and fired what appeared to be some sort of tractor beam into their direction.  
"They're trying to suck us in!", Pidge shouted over the noise it was making, struggling to get into the castle. Hunk gave her a boost and they climbed in together, while Keith handed Shiro the last alien.  
Lance, who had been at the far end of the chain, was slowly making his way to the castle with his jetpack on full force, when he lost his footing and was about to get drawn towards the Galra ship.  
Keith jumped after him and managed to grab his hand. While holding on to a large boulder he tried to pull them both to safe ground, but the tractor beam was too strong and their jetpacks didn't make much of a difference.

Shiro made his way down to them, but he could only move painfully slowly in order not to slip up as well.

"Keith!", Lance called out, his voice muffled by the noise.  
"Hold on!", Keith shouted back, panic rising withing him as he felt Lance's hand slip away.  
"I can't!" He tried to reach forward with his other hand, but couldn't stretch far enough. "I can't! I'm-"  
"Lance!"  
Their hands were ripped apart and Lance was sucked in by the beam, his scream getting lost in space.

Keith stared after him in shock and barely registered when Shiro finally reached him.  
"Keith, come on!", he called.  
"We need to go after him!", Keith protested, but Shiro grabbed his arm.  
"We need to get inside!"  
He knew Shiro was right. There was no use in jumping after Lance and risking their lives too.

Suddenly, the Blue Lion zoomed past them, towards the closing hatch of the enemy ship. Shiro and Keith watched her attack the exterior of the ship with her jawblade while dodging the ship's defense lasers, but to no avail. The hatch was now closed and she couldn't reach Lance.

"Come on," Shiro said and tugged at Keith's arm.  
They managed to reach the castle were Hunk pulled them inside.

Before Keith could form a clear thought, Coran announced, "They're retreating, they've opened another wormhole!"  
"No! We have to- we-," Keith stammered, but it was no use, he could only watch the Galra ship disappear to who-knows-where.

Everyone went dead silent, Allura, Coran, the paladins, even the aliens stood like frozen as they all stared at the vast empty space were the Galra ship had been just a second ago.  
Only the Blue Lion was floating motionlessly for a few moments before returning to her hangar.

Keith turned around to his friends, his stomach turning when he saw their terrified expressions. Hunk was staring into space with Pidge holding on to his arm.  
Shiro had his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed, thinking hard.

The sound of Hunk's voice pulled Keith more into reality. "How are we gonna get him back?", he asked, his eyes jumping between Allura and Shiro.  
He didn't get an answer, they didn't have one.  
They all were thinking the same thing, if the Galra got their hands on a paladin of Voltron, they'd make short work of them.

Keith opened his mouth, wanted to tell them of a plan how they could save Lance, but he couldn't think of one.  
"I'm sorry," was all he got out instead. His voice was shaking and when all eyes were on him, he repeated, "I'm sorry. I-I couldn't save him."

"It's not your fault, you did what you could," Shiro said and put a hand on Keith's shoulder. Keith, however, had to keep from ducking away. He didn't feel like he deserved that gesture.  
Was it really true what Shiro said? Did he do _everything_ he could?

"Maybe they'll use him to bargain," Pidge suggested, although it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. "They won't just..." She didn't finish her sentence and looked at the others desperately.

*

Keith lay awake that night. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw Lance's face and the blank horror in his eyes before he slipped from his grip.

Despite being dead-tired he knew he wouldn't catch any sleep. He wandered through the hallways more or less aimlessly, looking for something to distract him. Maybe he could train some more until he'd just fall asleep from exhaustion.

When he passed the kitchen he could make out voices coming from inside.  
So he wasn't the only one not sleeping, understandable..  
He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to anyone at all, but being alone with his thoughts seemed even worse.  
As soon as he opened the door, he regretted his decision. He had never been the best at human interaction, especially not during a difficult time like this.  
Pidge was sitting on the counter, Hunk was standing next to her and they both looked at Keith when he entered.  
He averted his eyes, unable to look directly at them.

"Can't sleep either, huh?", Pidge asked in a tired and sort of raspy voice.  
"No..", Keith answered quietly and walked up to them, but kept his distance. He felt like he was intruding.

For a while none of them said anything and kept their eyes cast down.  
"I know we're risking our lives everyday," Hunk then said, "but I think now I realize what that actually means."

Keith wasn't sure what to make of that. It didn't sound like an accusation, but it felt like one.  
"I'm so sorry," he said, still looking at the floor and clenching his fists.

"Why are you sorry?", Pidge asked. "We know it's not your fault."  
She exchanged a brief look with Hunk, who added, "Yeah, we're not blaming you."

Keith finally dared to look at them. Pide had dark circles under her eyes and Hunk's were red and puffy. It sent a pang through Keith's chest and he couldn't hold their gaze for long.  
"It's just... He was your friend and I, I couldn't-"  
"You're saying that like he's already dead!", Pidge snapped at him and he flinched.  
Did she really believe the Galra would keep a paladin alive or was she in denial? Or did she have a point? Was it possible that Lance was still alive?

Hunk put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down and looked at Keith. "And besides.. he's your friend, too, right?"

The corners of Keith's mouth twitched upwards but it turned into a frown immediately. "Of course," he managed to get out before his eyes filled with tears.  
He took a shaky breath. "Of course he is."

The truth was he didn't know what they were. A lot of times he wasn't sure if Lance even liked him at all. But Keith liked to think that they belonged together, somehow. None of them had planned to become the universe's only hope, but they were here now and they were a team. And even if Lance didn't act like they were friends, he always came through when it mattered.

And Keith let him down.  
He didn't even want to think about what that meant for Voltron.

"Come here," Hunk said gently and reached out to him. At first Keith wasn't sure what he was getting at, but when he stepped closer Hunk pulled him into a hug.  
He rested his chin on Hunk's shoulder and closed his eyes. 

Maybe Pidge was right. Maybe they should keep their hopes up that Lance was still alive.  
Maybe that would be easier to bear than to believe him dead. 

Lance had grown on him, even if their relationship had startet out pretty rocky. They were still arguing a lot and most of the time Keith didn't even know why, but when they weren't they worked well together. Like that was how it was supposed to be.  
When Lance laughed Keith felt light like feathers, and when Lance smiled Keith felt like he could do anything.

Next to them he heard Pidge yawn, giving them the cue that is was really time for bed, although probably none of them would be able to sleep.

*

The next morning the paladins sat together at breakfast as usual, but nobody said a word. It was unbearably quiet, save for the sound of spoons clinking against bowls.

Allura, followed by Coran, entered the dining hall. Her movements were stiffer than normal with a stern expression.  
"Paladins," she begann, but paused to draw in a shaky breath. "We have checked on the Blue Lion and it appears to have fallen dormant again. Now without," there was another short pause, "all five lions we are weakened and we must assume that Zarkon is aware of this. We cannot take any risks and we won't take offensive actions until.. we figure out what to do."

The paladins looked at her, and for a moment it was completely silent, until Pidge spoke.  
"Aren't we gonna look for him?"  
Allura opened her mouth to respond, but seemed to change her mind and her expression softened a little. "I'm afraid we are too vulnerable, and we have no indication of where to look even if we could."  
"But-", Pidge protested, looking around as if she'd find and answer somewhere in the faces of the others, but then she sank back into her chair and kept quiet.

"Then.. what _are_ we gonna do?", Keith asked while wondering how Allura could keep her posture like that.  
The princess looked at him. "Well, _today_ we are going to visit planet Arus to drop off our passengers; Shiro, Coran and I will discuss our options now that we are down to four lions; and aside from that just train some, and perhaps rest some more, regain some strength. I take it we're all tired."  
She looked at each of them and they avoided her gaze as if they could hide the bags under their eyes that way.

 

Keith hit the training deck. He wasn't up for resting, his own thoughts would just drive him out of his mind.

After fighting a robot opponent a couple of times, and winning too, he turned up the difficulty. And then he turned it up some more, and some more, until he was no longer a match for the robot and basically just got beaten up by it. He was driven by the idea that he had to improve to compensate for a lost team member. And he needed to do so fast, so he wouldn't let someone get hurt again.

He ignored when he got hit and kept attacking the robot with his bayard in blind rage, completely caught up in the fight.  
So much so that he didn't notice when someone called his name and only when the robot was commanded to stop did he register that someone had entered the room.

"Keith," Shiro repeated, "that's enough for today."  
"Just let me finish, I almost had it this time!", Keith protested, chest heaving from the intense exercise.  
"That's an order," Shiro stated firmly, but softened up after a few moments. "It's not good to power yourself out like that."

Keith let his shoulders drop, still breathing heavily as exhaustion finally caught up with him, and his whole body started aching from the beating he had taken.  
"I just don't know what else to do." He clenched his fists and looked to the side. "How are we gonna save the universe now? We can't even form Voltron!"  
But as he was speaking, he realized that it wasn't the universe he was worried about. He did care, of course, but in that moment he could only think about how he would never hear Lance's laugh or see his smile again.

"It feels like yesterday that I got you back," Keith said quietly, before Shiro could respond, and he felt his eyes water. "And now Lance is gone." He choked up and was too busy holding back sobs to speak on.  
Why did people always leave him?

Shiro stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Keith, who burried his face in his shoulder. He let the tears flow and Shiro held him for as long as it took him to calm down.  
Eventually Keith lifted his head a little so he could talk better. "Am I being selfish?"  
"Why?"  
"Because there's so much at stake... but all I can think about is that I want him to come back."  
"It's fine, Keith. You're allowed to think that," Shiro said and brought some space between them to look into Keith's eyes. "You just care about him, is all."

Keith wiped over his eyes and as his head cleared up a little he noticed his sweat-soaked shirt sticking uncomfortably to his skin.  
Even like this - sweaty, exhausted and crying - Shiro was patient with him and he realized once more how glad he was to have him back, and he kept from asking himself how he would deal without him.

"Thanks," Keith mumbled and managed to give a weak smile, which Shiro returned.  
"How about you go take a shower? And lunch should be ready soon, too," Shiro said and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder.  
"Yeah, sounds good." 

*

The days went by but they did so slowly.  
The four paladins fought small battles here and there, but opted to flee the situation on more than one occasion.  
No-one let it on, but their hopes of succeeding weren't very high and without Voltron their chances were near non-existent.  
The Blue Lion gave no signs of life whatsoever, and to Keith it felt like it wasn't even there at all, or at least far, far away, which only made Lance's absence all the more prominent.  
It was just too quiet without him.

Keith was on his way to his room, tired although the day had been uneventful. When he passed Lance's room he stopped, then took a step back and looked at the door.  
It was too easy to imagine that Lance was on the other side of it, putting on moisturizer or whatever it was he used to do before going to bed.

For a split second he was hit by the thought that maybe, _maybe_ , Lance was really there, but when he opened the door all he found was an empty room.  
It wasn't as messy as he thought it would be, only a few clothes were lying around here and there, probably from when they had to change into their suits for the rescue mission.  
Everything seemed to be exactly the way Lance had left it behind and from what Keith knew, nobody had been in here ever since.

Keith had never entered this room when Lance was still there and he was pretty sure he wouldn't approve. But he felt some sort of connection to Lance that drew him in farther.

A little lost he looked around, maybe he'd find something he could take as a memento, something to make him feel closer to Lance. It wasn't stealing when the owner wasn't around anymore, right?  
His eyes fell onto the jacket that had been thrown onto the bed carelessly. He reached for it hesitantly and after staring at it for a few more moments he pressed it onto his nose.  
Lance's scent took over Keith's mind as he inhaled it deeply, and it made his heart race and his knees quiver.  
Before he knew it he started crying. He stood there in the middle of the room, hunched over and sobbing with his face burried in the jacket.

He ended up not taking the jacket with him, and he didn't take anything else either.  
When he left the room and closed the door, he decided to leave it closed.  
He didn't want to feel what he had felt inside that room ever again.

*

On Shiro's command the paladins made their drones retreat and Allura opened a wormhole to escape with the castleship.  
It was quiet on the other end, no enemy ship managed to follow them.

Keith had to force himself not to look at the empty seat that was meant for the Blue Paladin. If Lance had been here, Keith wouldn't have almost lost his drone just now.

"We have to do something," he said and stood up from his seat.  
Allura was leaning onto the control panel in front of her with her head hanging. "We didn't stand a chance, retreat was our only option," she said with a grim expression.  
"No," Keith clarified, "I mean we have to find a way to take control again. All we did for the past two weeks was running away and hiding, we can't keep this up forever!"  
The princess slammed her hands down onto the panel. "But what choice do we have?!"  
Keith looked at her in surprise and took a step back.  
"What else can we do?", she asked in a quiet voice and closed her eyes.

Shiro stepped to Keith's side and kept his eyes on Allura as he spoke carefully, "I hate to say it but we might need to take a risk. It's only a matter of time until the Galra find and attack us. We need to find out what they're planning so they can't take us by surprise."

"How are we going to do that?", Allura asked, but her voice lacked all determination.  
Pidge's voice sounded from farther back, "If I can hack into their database I might be able to find information about their battle plans."  
"And we've been on their ships before, without Voltron," Hunk added.

Allura looked at each of them and stood up straight. "Alright. We're safe for now, so go and rest. We'll inflitrate one of their ships the next time we get a chance."

 

Keith was relieved that Allura agreed to take action. Only avoiding confrontation and not getting anywhere was making him restless. They had just been spinning wheels and none of them wanted to say it out loud or even think about it, but it was vital to have five paladins, meaning they needed to find someone to pilot the Blue Lion.  
The Blue Lion, however, didn't give them any pointers, the only thing she did was collect dust.

On second thought, something about her seemed to be different. Keith noticed it when he was on his way to his room to rest like Allura had said.  
The same kind of energy that had guided Keith out into the desert back on earth was now drawing him to Blue. That kind of energy that had disappeared when Lance did seemed to be back.

He entered the hangar and looked up at the Blue Lion, stared at her in awe as she towered over him like a monument.  
Hesitantly he walked towards her, although he would rather have turned around out of fear she would raise her paw and crush him as punishment for losing her paladin.

"Hey, girl," Keith said quietly when he approached her, but she remained still like a statue.  
He put a hand onto her front paw, not sure what he was expecting other than cold metal.  
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I know you like him a lot, I like him a lot, too. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I had the chance to save him and I blew it."  
The Blue Lion did not respond.  
Keith lowered his head so his forehead was almost touching the metal surface. "What does this mean? Did you bring me here?", he mumbled, "Or do I just wish you did?"  
There was still no movement, no sound, and Keith felt anger rise up inside him.  
He took a step back and looked up at Blue, how she kept her head high and ignored him.  
"What do you want me to do?!", he shouted. There had to be something he could do to get a reaction from her!  
With a frustrated growl he kicked her, which definitely hurt him way more than it hurt her.

He let his head hang in defeat and closed his eyes to keep tears from falling out.  
"Just give me something, anything..", he whispered.

 

"There you are," a voice said and Keith raised his head.  
He was sitting with his back against the Blue Lion's paw, hugging his legs, but he straightened himself when he saw Pidge approaching, Hunk right behind her.  
"You didn't show up to dinner, we were looking for you," Hunk explained.

Keith shrugged lamely. "Sorry, I'm not really hungry."  
"You still have to eat," Hunk said and it almost sounded commanding, but Keith figured it was just because he was worried.  
"What are you doing here, anyway?", Pidge asked before Keith could say anthing.  
He hesitated. "I felt like I should come here. I thought Blue wanted to tell me something, but nothing happened."  
He let out the bit where he stayed because Blue's energy reminded him of Lance, and was reminded how much he missed him.

Pidge hesitated, but then decided to say what was on her mind. "Maybe he's nearby?"  
Keith looked at her doubtfully. "What?"  
"I mean maybe the Blue Lion.. deactivated because Lance was too far away, and now he's close enough again for their connection to take effect," Pidge elaborated.  
"Pidge.. no..", Keith responded and made a helpless gesture, "do you.. do you still believe that he's.. alive?"  
Pidge looked shocked. "Don't you?! Don't tell me you've already written him off!", she snapped at him.  
"I'm just being realistic!", Keith retorted and stood up in order not to have to look up at her.  
"How's that being realistic?!" Pidge stared at him irately. "Shiro's still alive, isn't he?!"  
"He wasn't a paladin back then! What could they possibly get from keeping Lance alive?!"  
"I don't know!", Pidge shouted, her lips quivering and her eyes filling with tears.  
Keith let his shoulders sag and took on a more neutral expression. "..Is this about your father and brother?", he asked cautiously.  
Pidge looked to the side and her voice was quiet when she spoke, "I know they're still out there. I'm going to believe the same for Lance until proven otherwise."

Keith took a deep breath. "Hunk, what do you think?"  
Hunk seemed surprised to be adressed, but then he looked at Keith with uncertainty. "If there's even the slightest chance that he's still alive.. shouldn't we hope for the best?"  
"Doesn't that hurt even more?", Keith asked, holding Hunk's gaze like he'd find answers in his face.  
But the three of them were lost.

Keith turned to Pidge again. "I'm sorry for shouting, Pidge."  
He knew it had been hard for her, being the youngest, not to mention that she had had her fair share of losing people, too.  
"I'm sorry, too," Pidge muttered, keeping her eyes cast down.  
He took a step towards her and hugged her, because it felt like the appropriate thing to do. And perhaps because he wanted to cherish the relationships he had more, since one could never know what was going to happen.  
Pidge gripped Keith's jacket and they were tense at first, but relaxed after a few moments.

 

The three of them ended up sitting on the floor leaning against Blue. They were mostly silent, just keeping each other company.

"So you really don't feel it?", Keith asked after a while.  
"I don't know," Hunk answered with a shrug, "Being around the lions makes me feel a lot of things all the time. I don't notice anything different, though."  
"Yeah, I feel my connection with Green, mostly," Pidge added.  
Keith leaned his head against the metal. "Maybe I'm imagining things," he mumbled. "I mean I did sense Blue back on earth, but who knows what that even means."

There was a pause, all of them staring into space.  
"I hope he knows that he's my best friend," Hunk then thought out loud, "I haven't told him enough."  
"I'm sure he does," Pidge said, "but I get what you mean.. we don't tell the people we love that we love them enough."  
Keith hummed in agreement, but couldn't really relate. He wasn't seperated from his family like Pidge and Hunk.  
Although he did make a mental note to tell Shiro what his friendship meant to him sometime soon.

"I wonder if Lance would even listen to me if I told him how much I like him," Keith mumbled absentmindedly.  
He didn't realize how that must have come across until Hunk asked, ".. How much _do_ you like him?"  
Keith turned his head to find Hunk and Pidge looking at him inquisitively. The first thing he wanted to say was that it had come out wrong and that he didn't mean it like that, but then he changed his mind and sighed. There wasn't really a reason to deny it.  
"Kinda.. a lot," he answered and avoided eye contact. "But you know we haven't always been on great terms, to say the least."  
While Pidge looked surprised, Hunk quickly recovered and smiled softly. "I'm sure he'd listen. He's actually really great to talk to, you know."  
Keith gave him a half-hearted smile. "Easy for you to say."  
"Yeah, I guess..", Hunk responded and continued after a short pause, "I love you guys, I just want you to know that."  
Now Keith smiled for real, but turned his head away from embarrassment.  
"We love you too, Hunk", Pidge answered, smiling as well and leaning her head onto his shoulder.

*

After a couple of days the opportunity to carry out their plan finally arose. They encountered a Galra ship that didn't look like it belonged to a warfleet, and it was huge, so the lions had a great advantage in mobility. Even Allura seemed rather confident that it would work.

"The cloaking shield is ready," Pidge stated. Shiro was standing behind her in the Green Lion, he was supposed to accompany her into the Galra ship in front of them.  
"Hunk and I are in position!", Keith announced. He and Hunk in their respective lions would serve as distraction in case they were detected.

"We're going in," Shiro said and Pidge activated the cloaking shield.  
Keith and Hunk kept their distance and stayed near the castleship, ready to intervene.  
The Green Lion had almost reached the enemy ship, when Coran's voice sounded over intercom. "The Blue Lion has left the castle!"  
"What?!", Keith asked and in that moment he already saw Blue shooting past him.  
"Lance must be in that ship!", Allura said and sounded like she couldn't believe her own words.  
"I knew it! I knew it!," Pidge cheered.

Soon enough the Blue Lion had blown their cover and started attacking with her ice beam and jawblade, seemingly trying to rip a hole into the ship's exterior.  
"Alright, change of plans," Shiro announced, "Keith, Hunk, draw attention to yourselves so we don't get hit by their defense lasers. Pidge and I are going to go in and find Lance."  
"Copy that," Hunk answered.  
"On it," Keith said and they both flew after the Blue Lion, who was still attacking furiously.

Soon a couple of fighter jets were sent out to fend them off. The fight against them proved to be difficult, but Hunk and Keith didn't have to defeat them, they just had to buy enough time for Shiro and Pidge to get in and out.

Keith did his best to stay focused. He was fighting alongside Hunk like a machine while also trying to keep the Blue Lion out of harm's way.

Allura checked in with them after a while, "How are you holding up?"  
"We're managing," Keith responded, "No need for backup yet."  
"We found a map, we're on our way to the ship's prison ward," Shiro informed them and Pidge added, "I hope that's where he is. Searching the entire ship would take ages."

Keith hoped, too, although he didn't want to. It felt like he was setting himself up for a huge disappointment.  
The time went by and Keith grew more and more impatient. It had been a while since they last heard from Shiro and Pidge, so aside from losing his mind over Lance he was now also worried about them.  
"Shiro, what's going on?", he asked, but there was no immediate response. "Shiro? Pidge?"  
Just when Keith was about to start panicking, Shiro answered, "Sorry, we had to be quiet, we just-"  
"Lance!", Pidge interrupted him, "Guys, there he is!" She kept her voice down, but she couldn't hide the excitement in it.

 

Keith barely registered what happened after that.  
Once the Green Lion had returned to the castle the Blue Lion stopped attacking and flew back as well.  
When Keith reached the hangar he stumbled out of Red immediately and ran as fast as he could to meet the others.  
He was just in time to see Shiro stepping out of the Green Lion, and with him was Lance. He had an arm over Shiro's shoulders for support and was dressed in similar rags Shiro had worn when he escaped.  
Behind them Pidge followed, beaming from ear to ear.

Lance looked around slowly with his eyes half-closed, and Keith's heart skipped a beat. For one because the sight of Lance knocked the air out of his lungs, but also because Lance looked really bad.  
But when Hunk sprinted towards him he gave a weak smile and let go of Shiro to be embraced by his friend, and Keith allowed himself to breath again.  
Everything was probably going to be fine after all.

Hunk almost didn't let go of Lance, crying an swaying him from side to side, but when Allura and Coran approached, he reluctantly made room for them to hug him as well.  
Keith watched them, his knees weak with relief and his mind racing because he couldn't believe this was really happening.  
Would Lance even want to see him? After letting him get taken by the Galra?

But Lance turned his head, like he was looking for something, and smiled at Keith when he found him.  
"Keith..", he mumbled and dragged his feet across the floor towards him.  
Keith didn't say anything but came up to meet him, fearing that he wouldn't be able to walk this far on his own. He basically had to catch Lance when he let himself fall into his arms.  
This was not exactly how Keith had imagined their first hug to be like, but he certainly wasn't going to complain.  
He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Lance's torso, holding him tight like he would disappear again otherwise.

Eventually Lance became heavy as he leaned onto Keith more and more, and Keith tried to pull back but Lance wasn't moving.  
"Guys! Something's wrong!" Keith did his best to hold him upright while trying not to panic. "Lance?!"  
Coran stepped forward to take a look at him. "He seems to have lost consciousness. Let's get him to a healing pod right away!"

 

They were all waiting by the healing pod for Lance to wake up. Coran had estimated it would take him all night, but none of them wanted to leave, they wanted to be there when Lance came to.  
Allura, Shiro and Coran were sitting on the steps a few feet away from the pod, talking in low voices, and Hunk and Pidge were sitting on the floor in front of it, leaning onto each other.

Keith kept his distance, he was pacing from left to right, wondering how Lance would act towards him.  
Lance did hug him, but he didn't look like he was completely aware what he was doing. He was barely conscious, after all.  
Would he even be able to look at Keith? Did he blame Keith for what happened? What if he thought Keith did it on purpose?

After a while Hunk turned around to him. "Keith, you're making me nervous. Come sit with us, try to relax a little."  
Keith did as told and said down next to Hunk, although he couldn't relax at all, afraid of what Lance would say to him, or if he would say anything at all.

"I'd say 'I told you so'," Pidge mumbled and Keith figured it was adressed at him, "but I'm just glad he's back."  
Keith glanced at her, but she just kept staring at the pod in front of them. "I'm sorry, you were right, I shouldn't have doubted it."  
"Eh, you had every reason to, I guess," she responded.  
"We're gonna find your brother and father, I'm sure," Keith said, leaning forward a little to look at her properly.  
Pidge turned her head slightly and gave him a soft smile, "Thanks."

 

Eventually, Keith was almost lulled to sleep by Hunk's soft snoring next to him, and he didn't know if he had just closed his eyes for a second or nodded off for a little longer when the healing pod opened and caught his attention.  
He was completely awake within a second and nudged Hunk a little too forcefully so that Pidge was woken up by it, too.

They scrambled to their feet as Shiro, Allura and Coran approached, too, and it was Hunk who caught Lance when he stumbled out of the pod.  
He blinked a few times and let his eyes wander from person to person. "What, no balloons, no 'welcome-back'-banner?", he said in a croaky voice and cracked a smile.

Everyone, except for Keith, started asking him questions about what happened and what he remembered.  
"They meant to kidnap those aliens we were helping, but only got me," Lance explained. "I was transferred to that big trading ship and I.. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, I think I carried around cargo most of the time.That's why I'm so buff now." He raised his arm to show off his muscles. There wasn't really any difference but nobody told him that.

Lance hadn't acknowledged Keith so far and it was making him nervous. He needed to know what Lance was thinking.  
"Uhm, guys?", he asked, "Can I have a moment to talk to Lance? ..Alone?"  
They exchanged curious looks and Lance stared at him in surprise.  
"Alright, how about some breakfast?", Hunk suggested, "You two join us when you're done."  
Keith and Lance followed them with their eyes until the door closed behind them.

"What's going on, man? You're kinda freaking me out," Lance said and looked at Keith with uncertainty.  
Keith didn't meet his eyes. "Sorry, it's just..", he exhaled audibly, "I know we're not the best of friends, but.. you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"  
Lance creased his eyebrows. "Did what?"  
"..Let go of you, let you get sucked into that ship," Keith clarified but Lance only looked more confused.  
"Well, duh," he said, "It's not like you're evil, right? I know you wouldn't do that. That's ridiculous."

Keith looked to the side. He didn't feel the relief he had been hoping for. It was like he needed someone other than himself to be angry with him.  
When Keith didn't say anything for a few moments Lance became visibly nervous. "Come on, it's fine, I know you did what you could, okay?"  
"And it wasn't enough!", he snapped and Lance flinched. "Sorry, I..", he closed his eyes for a brief moment to calm down, "I just can't help but think I've let everyone down. Not only you, but the entire team."  
He hadn't planned for the conversation to take to that direction, it just slipped out. It felt a little strange to open up to Lance like that, especially with something he hadn't even told Shiro about.  
Lance tried to make eye contact. "Hey, that.. that tractor beam was strong. I know, I was there," he gave Keith a crooked smile, "This could have happened to anyone."  
"I guess..", Keith answered. He wasn't convinced but he appreciated Lance's words. "So you're not mad? Not even a little bit?" He didn't give Lance time to respod before he added, "You gotta admit it's a little weird because you're usually mad at me all the time for no reason, but this time I actually did something wrong."

Lance raised his index finger. "First of all, just to be clear, I don't think you did anything wrong, okay?" Now it was his turn to look to the side, letting his hand sink again, and he seemed insecure all of a sudden. "And second.. there's something I should tell you. And I think I owe you an apology."  
He looked down at his hands and started playing with his fingers.  
Keith didn't say anything, he didn't understand what Lance was getting at and why he suddenly looked so small.  
Lance glanced at him for a moment to see if he would respond, but then spoke on, "I've had a lot of time to think over the past, uh.."  
"Two weeks."  
"Two weeks, wow..", Lance mumbled but then shook his head slightly to focus on what he had meant to say, "anyway, while wondering if I'd make it out alive or not I was thinking about earth, home, my family... you."  
Keith raised his eyebrows. He searched Lance's face for answers but all he found was a slightly bashful expression.  
"I wasn't fair to you. I mean, I was a real jerk to you, but it wasn't your fault. I'm really sorry."  
"But why? I don't understand," Keith said and looked at him intently.  
Lance became more and more visibly distressed. He waved his hands around for some vague gestures but then he let his shoulders drop and sighed.  
"Alright, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it," he began and tried - and failed - to look Keith directly in the eyes, "I have a crush on you."

Keith's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to respond, but Lance raised his hands in front of him to stop him. "Let me explain."  
Like frozen he watched Lance gesture wildly as he went on.  
"So, at first I didn't realize it, then I did but didn't _want_ to. You know, because I'm a boy and you're a boy and.. and I got so angry at you. I thought, if.. if I could just _hate_ you then those other feelings would go away." Lance's eyes filled with tears as he spoke. "But they never did." He drew in a shaky breath. "I-I know it's my own problem, so, yeah, I'm sorry for being a jerk. I shouldn't have let it out on you."  
He turned his head away and wiped some tears away with the heel of his hand.

Keith just stared at him, a confession like this was the last thing he had expected. And he never would have thought that Lance would be so insecure about it. He was flirting with girls all the time, why would it be any different with boys? Well, Keith could think of a reason or two, but he never knew Lance thought like that.

"So, what?", he finally said, "You think it can't work out because we're both boys?"  
He felt his eyes well up as he kept staring at Lance, who didn't know how to respond.  
"I thought you were gone, I thought you were _dead_!", he continued, his lips quivering slightly, "A-and I like you, too, _really_ like you, so don't tell me we can't be together because of some homophobic bullshit!"

"When you say it like that it does sound pretty dumb," Lance muttered and chuckled bleakly.  
For a moment they were silent and Lance sighed. "It's just.. I've known for a long time that I like boys, but it wasn't until I met you that I actually had to deal with it." He wiped over his eyes and cracked a smile, looking up at Keith again. "I never thought you'd like me back anyway.. But, you know, if you're up for it, I'd like to try.. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right? I get abducted by aliens?"

Keith tried to blink the tears away but couldn't stop them from rolling down his cheeks. He could barely grasp that he wasn't dreaming, that Lance was really standing in front of him, alive and well.  
And that he felt the same as Keith.  
"I am. Up for it, I mean," Keith said and looked down at his shoes. "..You wanna start out with a hug? Last time you kinda passed out.."  
He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Lance, to feel that he was real.  
Lance ran a hand through his hair nervously and nodded. "Yeah," he mumbled and stepped closer.

Keith met him halfway and rested his chin on Lance's shoulder. Lance was hesitant at first, but then relaxed and put his hands on Keith's back.  
"I missed you so much," Keith managed to get out before giving in to the tears, sniffling and sobbing quietly.  
He buried his face in the crook of Lance's neck and clung to him.  
"I missed you too," Lance whispered as he pulled him as close as possible.

After a while Keith had calmed down and was just leaning against Lance with his hands resting on his back losely, and tried to take in his presence with all his senses. The warmth he emitted, the slight heaving of his chest..  
"You smell really bad," Keith then mumbled, although he didn't really mind. In a way he still smelled like himself.  
Lance snorted, "Don't remind me. They didn't exactly have a spa, you know. I can practically feel the dry skin peeling off of my face."  
"Sorry." Keith pulled back to look at Lance. "I think you still look good, though." The words slipped out more or less unintentionally. Of course he could see that Lance was kind of dirty and unkempt and that his hair was greasier than usual, and his eyes were red and puffy from crying, but to Keith that didn't really matter. He was just glad to be able to look at Lance's beautiful face again.

Instead of saying something witty like Keith had expected, Lance bit his lip nervously and his eyes jumped between different spots on Keith's face.  
Keith closed the gap between them and placed his lips gently on Lance's. He felt Lance's whole body tense up and drew back immediately.  
"Sorry, was that too much?", he asked cautiously as Lance stared at him with red cheeks.  
"No! No, you, uh, you just.. surprised me, that's all," Lance responded, trying to play it cool but failing miserably, and seeing him so flustered made Keith smile a little.  
Lance, having taken on a more determined expression, leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss, and then he smiled as well, and then he kissed him again.  
"I could get used to that," he mumbled.

Before Keith could answer the calm moment was interrupted by Lance's stomach growling loudly.  
"Ugh, I'm sorry." He gave Keith an apologetic, and maybe slightly embarrassed look. "They didn't have a five-star restaurant either."  
"Pretty crappy vacation, huh," Keith said and wiped over a dirty spot on Lance's cheek with his thumb.  
Lance snorted, "Yeah, I'm never going there again."

Keith hesitated, but then took Lance's hand to lead him out of the room.  
"Hey, you should pay Blue a visit after breakfast. I think she missed you, too."


End file.
